Showing posts with label Laughing out Loud. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Laughing out Loud. Show all posts
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Church Bulletins
I received the following from a friend. This has circulated for many years as I remembered receiving it more than 10 years ago. Albeit having circulated on the net for so long, it continues to bring laughter and smiles today. Enjoy!
Thank God for church ladies with typewriters -- misspellings, bad sentence construction or choice of words all made for fun reading. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals..
The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict
Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing: 'Break Forth Into Joy.'
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
This evening at 7 PM there will be hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin
Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours! My sentiments entirely.
Thank God for church ladies with typewriters -- misspellings, bad sentence construction or choice of words all made for fun reading. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals..
The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict
Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing: 'Break Forth Into Joy.'
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
This evening at 7 PM there will be hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin
Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours! My sentiments entirely.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
My first dance review ... of Men in Tutus
http://www.asiadancechannel.com/Men_in_Tutus.cfm
"... The performance that, perhaps, stole the show that afternoon was The Dying Swan, a famous solo first danced by legendary ballerina Anna Pavlova in the late 1800s. Trevino’s version, a parody of the original dance filled with lyrical movements and the intense emotions leading to its death, was filled with great humor of a swan shedding lots of feathers as it first appeared and glides across the stage en pointe. Technically excellent with an amazingly feminine built that exuberated strength and effortless grace, Trevino’s interpretation of a dying swan was one that was intentionally cheeky displaying bushy underarms and arms waving frantically in the air to depict a badly injured or perhaps aging swan that really did not want to die. Trevino’s rendition of this supposedly intense ballet solo had the audience in stitches when the occasional hip gyrations, the lifting of the tutu to see what was underneath, and the wink made visible by the three-inch eye lashes popped up at the most unexpected moments. Trevino’s performance brought the dance to an entirely new level and paved the way for the second half of the show – the Act Two of Swan Lake ... "
"... The performance that, perhaps, stole the show that afternoon was The Dying Swan, a famous solo first danced by legendary ballerina Anna Pavlova in the late 1800s. Trevino’s version, a parody of the original dance filled with lyrical movements and the intense emotions leading to its death, was filled with great humor of a swan shedding lots of feathers as it first appeared and glides across the stage en pointe. Technically excellent with an amazingly feminine built that exuberated strength and effortless grace, Trevino’s interpretation of a dying swan was one that was intentionally cheeky displaying bushy underarms and arms waving frantically in the air to depict a badly injured or perhaps aging swan that really did not want to die. Trevino’s rendition of this supposedly intense ballet solo had the audience in stitches when the occasional hip gyrations, the lifting of the tutu to see what was underneath, and the wink made visible by the three-inch eye lashes popped up at the most unexpected moments. Trevino’s performance brought the dance to an entirely new level and paved the way for the second half of the show – the Act Two of Swan Lake ... "
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