I just came back from a hectic week in Bangkok, a city of surprises, warmth & hospitality, and indulgences of sorts as well. Will tell you about a couple of interesting observations and conversations I had another time ...
But the story I received below is so true and good for the record. Read on. I hope you will find some gems that englighten this difficult path we share called Life ...
It was a busy morning, about 8:30, when an elderly gentleman in his 80s arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He said he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00.
I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would to able to see him. I saw him looking at his watch and decided since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound.
On examining it I saw it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors and got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound. While taking care of his wound, I asked him if he had another doctor's appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry.
The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife.
I inquired as to her health.
He told me that she had been there for a while! As she is a victim of Alzheimer's disease.
As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late.
He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now.
I was surprised and asked him, 'And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?
He smiled as he patted my hand and said, 'She doesn't know me but I still know who she is.'
I had to hold back tears as he left, I had goose bumps on my arm and thought, 'That is the kind of love I want in my life.
It appears that true love is neither physical nor romantic, but an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be.
Peace is seeing a sunset and knowing who to thank, according to the author.
The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have.
Life isn't about how to survive the storm but how to dance in the rain.
The road to success is not straight. There is a curve called Failure, a loop called Confusion, speed bumps called Friends, red lights called Enemies, caution lights called Family.
You will have flats called Jobs. But, if you have a spare called Determination, an engine called Perseverance, insurance called Faith, a driver called The Almighty God, you will make it to a place called Success.
Here's to our quest for a meaningful and fulfilling life. Cheers!
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Are you a Carrot, Egg or Coffee Bean?
Still on the subject of developing the right attitude that makes a positive, lasting impression among those within your sphere of influence, here's an email I received from a Nigerian friend.
The story reminds me of a few things that I have been contemplating of late - on matters of the heart. Of values and principles that help shape our attitude towards life. On how an insignificant person like myself (when compared to the majestic vastness of this universe) can possibly make a lasting contribution.
Carrots, Eggs & Coffee
A carrot, an egg, and a cup of coffee...You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again. A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose. Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word.
In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, 'Tell me what you see.'
'Carrots, eggs, and coffee,' she replied.
Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg.
Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, 'What does it mean, mother?' Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.
'Which are you?' she asked her daughter. 'When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?
Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?
Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?
Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor.
If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?
May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.
The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.
When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.
The story reminds me of a few things that I have been contemplating of late - on matters of the heart. Of values and principles that help shape our attitude towards life. On how an insignificant person like myself (when compared to the majestic vastness of this universe) can possibly make a lasting contribution.
Carrots, Eggs & Coffee
A carrot, an egg, and a cup of coffee...You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again. A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose. Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word.
In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, 'Tell me what you see.'
'Carrots, eggs, and coffee,' she replied.
Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg.
Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, 'What does it mean, mother?' Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.
'Which are you?' she asked her daughter. 'When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?
Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?
Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?
Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor.
If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?
May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.
The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.
When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.
Monday, July 7, 2008
The Young and the Restless
The title suggests one single person having youthfulness and restless energy. It can also describe two separate individuals - one who is young in age with little experience in life, and another who is restless and seeking to experience more of life.
In the course of more than a decade of professional work in the marketplace and having stuck through the good and bad times, my younger friends check in with me from time to time, seeking for some perspectives on their thoughts and struggles regarding their challenging situations.
Just the other day, I came across this quote and it made me think about the various conversations I have had with my friends ...
Many of these young professionals are incredibly bright and exhibit great thinking abilities. Many of them are also restless and gripe about why they are not moving up the ranks fast enough. Many seem to have the right skills and deliver well at their level but somehow don't seem to be moving up as fast as they had envisioned.
I don't have all the answers really, but in my years of work with multinational companies - both with foreign and local management, small to larger groups of employees, I have come to realize a few things ...
Sometimes, it's not about what you can or cannot do (the hard skills) rather it's about the values, attitude and behavior (the soft skills). The latter is very difficult to learn - it all depends on whether you have a teachable heart, and it becomes more difficult for the proud or older ones who think they have seen it all and done it all to learn/possess. It's not something you pick up from a textbook. Some might say, it can't be taught, it can only be caught (when you spend enough time with that parent, teacher, or mentor.)
In other instances, it may be who you know. Being at the right place at the right time and with the right people is important. It's about being discovered by the people who need your skills and are able to appreciate the value you can bring to the table.
The downside of completely relying on who you know and not allowing yourself time to acquire knowledge and build the right skills is that you may not be selected based on merit. This can cause many side effects such as being promoted to one's incompetence, losing the respect of your colleagues and associates, not being taken seriously for your work, or possibly be the subject of bad gossip.
Yet other times, it may be that there just isn't a business reason for the promotion. And of course, what we all would not want to hear is "you are just not ready for the next level." Sometimes, that can be true; while other times, you will wonder ... do keep wondering and perhaps, it really may mean that it's time to move on, especially if you do not feel you can grow within the same scope of work and in the same company.
What I do know is that each individual is called to different things and grows at different paces/times. Some people have growth spurts while others take time to blossom. Some may get it right the first time (luck maybe) but others may be called to take the path less travelled - to master the basics (mind you, this will take many, many years of life!) so they can think outside the box and be great innovators.
To master the rules, one has to "stick it out" for as long as it takes. Such would be the times to grow in character and maturity. Think of it this way, a very tall building ought to have an equally deep foundation; otherwise it would not stand. Without the depth of character that comes from persevering through time, one would at worse be a miserable creepy crawler (I am sure this has another name but I can't recall at this time!) - shooting up fast by relying on support from more sturdy branches or structures for that short period of time. Without others, they would never stand because they have not stood the test of time and allowed deep roots and strong foundations to be built into their lives.
Therefore, determine this day what kind of professional you will be ... one who aspires to become a very tall building (with deep foundations) that will withstand the test of time or the creepy crawler ... likened to buildings made of sand (a dime a dozen perhaps) that would dissipate and blow away into oblivion with the winds of change?
Having thought through this time and time again, a few questions have helped me work things out within myself and come to terms with current situations:
1. Am I growing in knowledge, skills, and character (and faith) through this experience
2. Am I at the place where I need to be for the grander scheme of things (this is usually my question to God - am I where I need to be and mutually benefiting from relationships in your grand plans?)
3. And finally, if I am still restless about the current situation and cannot find an acceptable resolution, then it really may be a good idea to explore other options that would seek to meet those needs (preferably, in a prayerful manner for those who are in faith).
Unless you try to do something beyond what you have already mastered,
What I take this to mean is don't be jaded with the current situation. Determine to get out of your boredom. Challenge yourself to see a different perspective. Seek to create a different approach to the current work or situation. And make the best of your situation ... or at least as long as you are there.
And if all else fails, yes, we hope that the One up there also agrees with us that it's absolutely time to move on to another area of expertise or another work environment all together.
As this is not a post about me having all the answers (as I certainly don't), I welcome feedback on other thoughts and advice that may help me (and perhaps others) think through the situations, as opposed to reacting to the instability of emotions or dire needs waiting to be met!
In the course of more than a decade of professional work in the marketplace and having stuck through the good and bad times, my younger friends check in with me from time to time, seeking for some perspectives on their thoughts and struggles regarding their challenging situations.
Just the other day, I came across this quote and it made me think about the various conversations I have had with my friends ...
The error of youth is to believe that intelligence is a substitute for experience,
while the error of age is to believe that experience is a substitute for intelligence.
Many of these young professionals are incredibly bright and exhibit great thinking abilities. Many of them are also restless and gripe about why they are not moving up the ranks fast enough. Many seem to have the right skills and deliver well at their level but somehow don't seem to be moving up as fast as they had envisioned.
I don't have all the answers really, but in my years of work with multinational companies - both with foreign and local management, small to larger groups of employees, I have come to realize a few things ...
Sometimes, it's not about what you can or cannot do (the hard skills) rather it's about the values, attitude and behavior (the soft skills). The latter is very difficult to learn - it all depends on whether you have a teachable heart, and it becomes more difficult for the proud or older ones who think they have seen it all and done it all to learn/possess. It's not something you pick up from a textbook. Some might say, it can't be taught, it can only be caught (when you spend enough time with that parent, teacher, or mentor.)
In other instances, it may be who you know. Being at the right place at the right time and with the right people is important. It's about being discovered by the people who need your skills and are able to appreciate the value you can bring to the table.
The downside of completely relying on who you know and not allowing yourself time to acquire knowledge and build the right skills is that you may not be selected based on merit. This can cause many side effects such as being promoted to one's incompetence, losing the respect of your colleagues and associates, not being taken seriously for your work, or possibly be the subject of bad gossip.
Yet other times, it may be that there just isn't a business reason for the promotion. And of course, what we all would not want to hear is "you are just not ready for the next level." Sometimes, that can be true; while other times, you will wonder ... do keep wondering and perhaps, it really may mean that it's time to move on, especially if you do not feel you can grow within the same scope of work and in the same company.
What I do know is that each individual is called to different things and grows at different paces/times. Some people have growth spurts while others take time to blossom. Some may get it right the first time (luck maybe) but others may be called to take the path less travelled - to master the basics (mind you, this will take many, many years of life!) so they can think outside the box and be great innovators.
To master the rules, one has to "stick it out" for as long as it takes. Such would be the times to grow in character and maturity. Think of it this way, a very tall building ought to have an equally deep foundation; otherwise it would not stand. Without the depth of character that comes from persevering through time, one would at worse be a miserable creepy crawler (I am sure this has another name but I can't recall at this time!) - shooting up fast by relying on support from more sturdy branches or structures for that short period of time. Without others, they would never stand because they have not stood the test of time and allowed deep roots and strong foundations to be built into their lives.
Therefore, determine this day what kind of professional you will be ... one who aspires to become a very tall building (with deep foundations) that will withstand the test of time or the creepy crawler ... likened to buildings made of sand (a dime a dozen perhaps) that would dissipate and blow away into oblivion with the winds of change?
Having thought through this time and time again, a few questions have helped me work things out within myself and come to terms with current situations:
1. Am I growing in knowledge, skills, and character (and faith) through this experience
2. Am I at the place where I need to be for the grander scheme of things (this is usually my question to God - am I where I need to be and mutually benefiting from relationships in your grand plans?)
3. And finally, if I am still restless about the current situation and cannot find an acceptable resolution, then it really may be a good idea to explore other options that would seek to meet those needs (preferably, in a prayerful manner for those who are in faith).
Whatever those options may present themselves to be, consider that while they may look good in the short run, they can possibly set you back a few years in the long run ... so choose wisely.
In parting, here's a nice quote:
In parting, here's a nice quote:
Unless you try to do something beyond what you have already mastered,
you will never grow
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
What I take this to mean is don't be jaded with the current situation. Determine to get out of your boredom. Challenge yourself to see a different perspective. Seek to create a different approach to the current work or situation. And make the best of your situation ... or at least as long as you are there.
And if all else fails, yes, we hope that the One up there also agrees with us that it's absolutely time to move on to another area of expertise or another work environment all together.
As this is not a post about me having all the answers (as I certainly don't), I welcome feedback on other thoughts and advice that may help me (and perhaps others) think through the situations, as opposed to reacting to the instability of emotions or dire needs waiting to be met!
Friday, July 4, 2008
Time for some comic relief ...
Golly, it sure has been extremely, heart-breakingly stressful ... hard-pressed, shaken-up and completely running over with all possible negativity and attacks from all aspects of professional and personal life ... I think I have gone almost completely mad!
But laughter never fails to be the panacea for the downtrodden ...
Joke of the day:
An English university creative writing class was asked to write a concise essay containing the following elements:
1) Religion
2) Royalty
3) Sex
4) Mystery
The prize-winner wrote:
'My God,' said the Queen,
'I'm pregnant. I wonder who the father is.'
Another one closer to home would read ...
What is the latest brand of instant noodles in Malaysia, the land where all things can become possible?
The incredulous answer is ... and all Malaysians chime ...
"SO DO MEE!"
As embarrassed as I am and for my beloved nation, I really cannot help but burst out laughing ...
In case you are not aware, do read this article on the laughable talk of town.
Goodness, it does seem like many are having a hard time of late ... may God never allow those destined to rise be suppressed and wiped out before their time. There is a calling for a few to stand up and be counted ... for such a time as this.
OK, so much for the comic relief, I now return to the battlefield of Goliaths.
But laughter never fails to be the panacea for the downtrodden ...
Joke of the day:
An English university creative writing class was asked to write a concise essay containing the following elements:
1) Religion
2) Royalty
3) Sex
4) Mystery
The prize-winner wrote:
'My God,' said the Queen,
'I'm pregnant. I wonder who the father is.'
Another one closer to home would read ...
What is the latest brand of instant noodles in Malaysia, the land where all things can become possible?
The incredulous answer is ... and all Malaysians chime ...
"SO DO MEE!"
As embarrassed as I am and for my beloved nation, I really cannot help but burst out laughing ...
In case you are not aware, do read this article on the laughable talk of town.
Goodness, it does seem like many are having a hard time of late ... may God never allow those destined to rise be suppressed and wiped out before their time. There is a calling for a few to stand up and be counted ... for such a time as this.
OK, so much for the comic relief, I now return to the battlefield of Goliaths.
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