Oh, how I miss you ... and terribly so, too!

Boiled milk custard from Yee Shun Milk Company, Hong Kong

Remember John the Baptist, The Prisoner in the Third Cell

Christian storyteller Gene Edwards writes about John the Baptist in his book "The Prisoner in the Third Cell".

With simple English, Edwards effectively conveys the life and thoughts of John the Nazarite juxtaposed with the thoughts and prayers of his cousin Jesus during the crucial moments.

The following are excerpts from different chapters in Edward's story book that so powerfully reminded me of the call that the Lord may have on a few and to not be offended by him when things don't happen the way one would have expected of him or others. 

The thoughts of Jesus towards his cousin John when the latter was imprisoned and awaiting his death ...
You will never live to see your thirty-third birthday, nor will you know exactly why I have called you. Nor will you know if your life on this earth counted for anything. Those long years in the searing desert, you denied yourself of everything this earth affords except food and water, and only enough of that to keep you alive. You did this all for me. Yet, as you face death, there is no evidence that your life was anything but wasted. Have I forsaken you in the hour you need me most?

"And blessed are you,

if you are not offended with me"

Despite John's seeming immaculate life of devotion to his Lord, the Lord was silent during John's time of suffering and despair.

Today you are resentful of those who so callously hurt you. But no, not really. The truth is you are angry with God because, ultimately, you are not dealing with men, you are dealing with the sovereign hand of your Lord. Behind all events, behind all things, there is always His sovereign hand. 


Will you follow a God you do not understand? Will you follow a God who does not live up to your expectations?


Your Lord has put something in your life which you cannot bear. The burden is simply too great. He was never supposed to do this! 


That God should allow John the Baptist to be beheaded in response to Herodias (Herod's second wife) as entertainment for Herod and his guests in spite of John having lived a life completely devoted to God.


But the question remains, "Will you continue to follow this God who did not live up to your expectations?"

"And blessed are you 

if you are not offended with me"

If we were never to understand why life circumstances are the way they are or if life seems utterly disappointing, unfair, or just completely against what you believe or expect in your pursuit of truth, righteousness and justice ... that we would never take offense or walk away from living the life he has called us to - one of trust in Him and obedience to His bidding in every way. 

For in doing this, we abandon ourselves to worship him with all our heart, soul, mind and strength.

Forgetting what lies behind is a necessary progression

You're a bird who's been in a cage all your life, and suddenly all the walls are gone, and you're in the wide open. You're so afraid you're looking for any way back into the cage again. Whatever you choose to think now, it's not safer there. Even if you tried to go back now, I don't think you could survive that way again. 

- Michael Hosea to his beloved wife,  who lived a life of a prostitute in Francine River's Redeeming Love 

When we were babes, we were fed with milk. As we grow, we will need solid food and exercise to gain strength in our bodies that we may learn to walk, and eventually run. And when we become adults, the motion of walking and running becomes second nature. We choose nutritious food to sustain a strong body and discipline of sorts to maintain a healthy lifestyle.

However, when tragedy strikes, why then is it that human nature punishes us with regression to the old ways? Or to remain in a wheelchair and wheel our entire life, hopes and dreams off the cliff? 

God forbid that we should go back to the old ways and not allow growth beyond the highest point of yesteryears - beyond our comfort zone.  

Should we settle with being taught the ABCs all over again - a place of familiarity and comfort - when we have tasted so much more living in the freedom of the Spirit?

Would we not allow Him to do a new thing in our lives, while being firmly grounded upon His truth and empowered by His Spirit? 

Invictus

Malaysians can learn a thing or two from watching the movie Invictus, based on the book Playing the Enemy: Nelson Mandela and the Game that Changed a Nation. The movie inspires one to extend grace to those who have mistreated us, looking beyond one's self interest in order to embrace the greater purpose of the nation, and be one nation united regardless of race, creed or color.

A key part of the movie was this inspiring poem titled "Invictus" the Latin word for unconquerable or undefeated, which encouraged Nelson Mandela to "stand when all he wanted to do was lie down" during his time in prison.  


Invictus by William Earnest Henley 

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeoning of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.


And one for the road ...

My End of the World

One minute, the whole world is in my hands
The next, like the end of the world
Still alive amidst a dying world
And yet, the music's ever so lovely

The song speaks of love lost
The news, a nation racing downhill
The church, of anything and everything
And yet, the music's ever so lovely

The people dream of greener pastures
The restrained whisper "Listen to his voice!"
Deep within lies the freshness of his words
Oh, the music's ever so lovely

My lover has my heart, my mind, my soul, my strength
Transformed, I am a steadfast regent
Fulfilling his purposes amidst a dying world
Oh, the music's ever so lovely

Heading towards the end of the world ...

There's something about this song that makes me wanna burst out and live life a little more ... a lot more ...

I'm Yours
Songwriters: Mraz, Jason;

Well you done done me and you bet I felt it

I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted

I fell right through the cracks, now I'm trying to get back

Before the cool done run out I'll be giving it my bestest

And nothing's going to stop me but divine intervention

I reckon it's again my turn to win some or learn some

But I won't hesitate no more, no more

It cannot wait, I'm yours

Well open up your mind and see like me

Open up your plans and then you're free

Look into your heart and you'll find love love love love

Listen to the music of the moment people, dance and sing

We're just one big family

And it's our God-forsaken right to be loved loved loved loved loved

So I won't hesitate no more, no more

It cannot wait, I'm sure

There's no need to complicate, our time is short

This is our fate, I'm yours

D-d-do do you, but do you, d-d-do

But do you want to come on

Scooch on over closer dear

And I will nibble your ear

I've been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror

And bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer

But my breath fogged up the glass

And so I drew a new face and I laughed

I guess what I be saying is there ain't no better reason

To rid yourself of vanities and just go with the seasons

It's what we aim to do, our name is our virtue

But I won't hesitate no more, no more

It cannot wait, I'm yours

(I won't hesitate)

Open up your mind and see like me

(No more, no more)

Open up your plans and man you're free

Look into your heart and you'll find that the sky is yours

(It cannot wait, I'm sure)

So please don't, please don't, please don't

(There's no need to complicate)

There's no need to complicate

(Our time is short)

'Cause our time is short

(This is our fate)

This is, this is, this is our fate

I'm yours

© GOO EYED MUSIC

I am also reminded of my time in Hawaii, though a time of studying God's word and his ways, it was very much a time of ...

soaking in his presence, 

the beauty of his creation on land and underwater, 

the freshness of the breeze, 

the tingling warmth of the sun against my pale surface, 

the friendly chatter of the people, 

their beautiful smiles, 

ohhh ... just the exuberance of life and living

The instruments remind me of one of my favorite musicians the late Israel "Iz" Ka'ano'i Kamakawiwo'ole. 

A daily choice

Never apologize ...

For choosing what is right and just
For choosing to live a pure life
For in doing this, we honor our parents.

Never apologize ...

For presenting our bodies, holy and acceptable to God
For renewing  our minds and not conforming to the ways of this world
For in doing this, we worship him

Never apologize ...

For discerning and choosing the will of God
For that which is good, acceptable and perfect
For in doing this, we reap a blessed life.

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY
Yesterday, today, and the days to come!

Fresh Encounters

I continue to swirl in his presence, in this world. Surreal. While feeling like I am on Cloud 9, I am conscious of both my feet firmly planted on the ground.

It has been awhile ... a long while of seeking God and trying to make sense of things.

This I know, my God is with me and he is for me. I am on the right track. Though there are bumpy roads ahead, there is no better journey to be on than the one he has called me to.

A life of unpredictable human interactions, of self-awareness, and the constant reminders to walk in humility. The daily choices of living by faith and in obedience to his call, purpose and ways.

There are no two ways about it. No compromise can and should be given. It is really His way or the highway for me ... that's what I would like it to be ... for me at least. To live a life of abandonment for him purposes.

Now that I have acknowledged this desire, I wonder what that would really mean in my world. So far, it has felt like I am in this world but not of this world. As in, it hasn't been all that comfortable at all.

Church camp last weekend was nothing unusual. The times when we spend so much time getting to know one another, playing games and letting our hair down by sportingly dressing up in a movie character was all good.

But the true gem of such getaways is really in the divine appointment and encounter with the living God.

I went for the "Oscar's Night" as Miranda Priestly, the editor of Runway magazine from the movie "The Devil Wears Prada." Decked in branded clothing, accessories, 3-inch heels, and of course, the several thousand dollar handbag!

It felt right to a certain extent ... the professional life I have lived can be full of pretenses. In reality, it has also been sprinkled with many divine appointments. But have I been living a life of passion for him? Or was it for my career and job?

I am never 100 percent certain that it has always been for him.

I have a long way to go on this journey I began 22 years ago, and there's no turning back. At least, I don't want to turn back. Neither do I want another path, another journey.

I know it is about my heart. Does he hold the key to my heart or is the key still in my hand?

It's really about lives, isn't it? All the preparations. All the blessings. It's really about the life I live and what I leave behind, isn't it? Whether I have touched people's hearts and lives, giving other's the benefit of doubt, and bestowing acts of kindness to those whom I am fortunate to cross paths with.

The fresh encounter with God. And that song - that mystical that played in the background.

The breath of God infused into my being, drenching every part of me with his sweet, yet powerful presence. Like an electric shock, the cells in my body jumped, twitched and began to move in ways I could not quite control.

The dance began to flow, as fresh waters out of the wellspring of life. Suddenly, my surroundings were permeated with his heavy presence, his glory. I was summoned. Compelled to respond to him, my fingers twitched. The energy flowed through my arms, my body, my toes, my feet ... all of me stretched towards the heavens.

***************

One week later, I am reading the Song of Solomon. I have read this before, but this time, I read his words with fresh understanding and a stirring in my heart.

The anointing from the encounter with God had lingered and I knew it all too well, when in my private chambers.

These words, they jumped out at me. It was my heart crying out to him ... Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm, for love is strong as death, jealousy is fierce as the grave. Its flashes are flashes of fire, the very flame of the Lord. Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it. 


Little did I know that these were the very words that came through the boom box while I was at camp, creating an atmosphere of worship, and inviting the Holy Spirit to fill the hearts of those surrendered to him. The words that seeped through my heart and soul just a week before continues to keep the fire burning within ... until we become one.

God is definitely at work!

In Honor of My Warts and All ...

From dear friends who accept others for who they are ... I have much to learn ...

Author unknown

When I was a kid, my mom liked to make breakfast food for dinner every now and then. And I remember one night in particular when she had made breakfast after a long, hard day at work.

On that evening so long ago, my mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage and extremely burned biscuits in front of my dad. I remember waiting to see if anyone noticed! Yet all my dad did was reach for his biscuit, smile at my mom and ask me how my day was at school.

I don't remember what I told him that night, but I do remember watching him smear butter and jelly on that biscuit and eat every bite!

When I got up from the table that evening, I remember hearing my mom apologize to my dad for burning the biscuits. And I'll never forget what he said: "Honey, I love burned biscuits."

Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if he really liked his biscuits burned. He wrapped me in his arms and said, "Your Momma put in a hard day at work today and she's real tired. And besides, a little burnt biscuit never hurt anyone!"

Life is full of imperfect things and imperfect people. I'm not the best at hardly anything, and I forget birthdays and anniversaries just like everyone else. But what I've learned over the years is that learning to accept each others faults and choosing to celebrate each others differences is one of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing, and lasting relationship.

So we should learn to take the good, the bad, and the ugly parts of your life and lay them at the feet of God. Because in the end, He's the only One who will be able to give you a relationship where a burnt biscuit isn't a deal-breaker!

We could extend this to any relationship. In fact, understanding is the base of any relationship, be it a husband-wife or parent-child or friendship!

"Don't put the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket. Keep it in your own."

God Bless You, now, and always.

My Easter Resolution

Easter "Doodles"

Easter, a breaking dawn

Of new hope, a new beginning

Of new life, a journey of romance.

Others say - Easter bunnies!

Chocolate candies, rainbow colored eggs

And the weary, "Ah, a long weekend indeed!"

Churches display crosses and crucifixes 

Christians gather family and friends 

Strangers oblige their one of two visits each year

And yet others, regard this Sunday like any other

Wholly devoted to the true and living God

In awesome wonder of the Father, the Brother, and the Friend

Easter, a day like no other

And yet, a day like every other

Happy Easter everyone ... and everyday!

Monday's Child

"Molten Liquid Gold" - Photography by Clark Little

Poem by Mother Goose

Monday's child is fair of face,
Tuesday's child is full of grace,
Wednesday's child is full of woe,
Thursday's child has far to go,
Friday's child is loving and giving,
Saturday's child works hard for a living,
But the child who is born on the Sabbath Day
Is bonny and blithe and good and gay.

This rhyme was first recorded in A. E. Bray's Traditions of Devonshire in 1838 and was collected by James Orchard Halliwell in the mid-nineteenth century.

Movies, surprisingly!

Once in awhile, you stumble on a movie that brings life back to the old, dry bones! Well, it has been quite often that I have stumbled on movies that I really enjoy from romantic comedies to cartoons to Japanese anime. One movie leading to another and before I know it, a movie marathon every weekend.

Today, I saw 14 blades - yes, a Chinese movie and I was a little nervous about seeing this one. I had a free ticket and thought, "Why not? After all, the worse that could happen is sitting through a movie that I barely understand except for the subtitles. But surprisingly, I enjoyed the story line or at least I think I understood most of it. It was an interesting activity of reading subtitles and listening to the Cantonese although I must admit the "olden days" Chinese speak quite differently from what we know today.

The story was entertaining, too - the main character was somewhat like the musketeers with the best one having had a difficult past of having to kill his own brother in order to live. This turning point left him with endless nights of nightmare but his dedication to serve and complete missions for the rulers during the Ming Dynasty kept him going and alive. What later differentiates him from the rest was his hesitance to complete a mission when he discovered that seizing a treasure box and delivering it to the requestor would put the nation in jeopardy and many years of war.

The moment of truth - he does not complete his mission and loses his honor but instead journeys on a new mission - to retrieve the treasure box containing the royal seal from the wrong hands in order to restore his dignity. The story unfolds with the emergence of a hero, the discovery of tender love - rather surprisingly for a warrior with his tough exterior - and seeing a man give up what he had set out to gain in order to save the life of the woman he had grown to care for and perhaps love. Lots of bloodshed and all in this action-packed, kung fu movie ... but I thoroughly enjoyed it.



I have never seen this movie star before, but I thought he was pretty hot with his six packs and a broad display of tattoos ... kudos to Donnie Yen, martial artist and Hong Kong movie star who was born in Canton, China!

Totally unplanned, we went for a second movie after dinner. The Book of Eli. Thanks to the GSC-Eon Credit Card, I was able to line up on the VIP lane and obtain our tickets in a jiffy.

The Book of Eli was something else. Also filled with bloodshed - ah, my Saturday of bloodshed movies which is unbecoming of me - but surprisingly, I enjoyed this movie. I didn't care much about the post-apocalyptic setting nor the fashion that made the entire movie dull in appearance, but what made me sit up was that the movie portrayed and brought forth the an individual who is steadfast in this faith and staying the course to transport a book to its destination. To protect the truth ... of the book - The Bible. A very powerful book. A book that many sought for at a time when it was scarce. But oh, the power it brings to the one who would read it night and day and commit to memory its words. The words that would form the inner man. His character. His purpose and mission in life. His lifestyle. His actions. His care and protection towards the weak.

The movie spoke volumes to me, yet not in a way where I can say freely describe except that I would want to read the Bible as often as I can in order to commit His words to memory and know in my heart the path I am to walk and the mission I am to fulfill in this life. The character and lifestyle I am to embrace. And to know that when I walk by faith, and not by sight, He is beside me to protect and care for me. To walk with me through the valley of the shadow of death and give me peace because He is with me.



Now that I think about it, I have been praying about some things. Today, He has reassured me that I am to walk by faith and not by sight for He is with me. I have my answer as to what I need to do. Lord, give me the courage and strength to follow you!

The Philosopher's Stone

Fullmetal Alchemist, Episode 45

The Philosopher's Stone
Those who possess it are no longer bound by the Law of Conservation in alchemy
They don't have to sacrifice something of equal value in order to gain something
We sought after it and finally obtained it.

The world of alchemy through the Elric brothers' adventures

I have been indulging in the Japanese anime Fullmetal Alchemist series this Chinese New Year break. An unusual activity for me but most addictive now that I am getting into the story as each episode gets played.

Who would have thought that such a simple story line could be so interesting ...

The story goes like this ...

Two boys, barely in the teens, discovered alchemy, after their father mysteriously disappeared. Edward and Alphonse Elric accessed their father Hofhenheim's study, read the letters he wrote to his fellow alchemist friends and combed through his alchemy books. They began to draw the transmutation circle and transform things into other things that they desired. 

Their mother smiled each time her boys come up with something using alchemy because it reminded her of her husband,  their father, who used to create flowers for her. Those were good memories.

After a short while, their mother passed away while they were barely teens. In their depth of sorrow, the boys tried human transmutation to bring their mother back to life. They desperately missed her smile. 

People cannot gain anything without sacrificing something.

You must present something of equal value to gain something.

This is the principle of equivalent trade in alchemy.

We believe that was the truth of our world when we were young.

And so they tried bringing their mother back to life, but failed tragically. What ensued was a body-less, younger brother Alphonse (probably about 11 years old at that time) and a handicapped Edward. With only one good arm and one good leg, Edward - the more gifted in alchemy of the two - only managed to bind Alphonse's soul to a metal armor that was lying in their father's study. 

The next day, Alphonse - now with his strong metal body and frame, carried his badly injured older brother to their neighbor's home, where Winry - their childhood friend and her grandmother stayed. They performed surgery on Edward and provided him with a auto-mail (metal/robotic) limbs, so the latter could pursue alchemy to become a State Alchemist.

And so the great adventures began as they set out on a journey to learn how they can restore their bodies to the original state ... more so for Alphonse who was no longer able to feel the warmth of his own brother's embrace and was soon forgetting what it was like to even have a normal body. 

Oh ... and after 51 episodes, which by the way will take me a long time to get through (what with Chinese New Year public holidays ending today), I am pleased to know that there is a sequel to the first series called Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood.

I hope the sequels are as engaging as the first.

If you, like me, enjoy Japanese anime, then be sure to also checkout my other favorite Howl's Moving Castle. 

The struggles within ... a critic

I was reminded of my role as a dance critic recently and how difficult it was for me to write a negative review of a ballet production that was directed and choreographed by those with whom I used to dance.

Interestingly, after I submitted my review, a character player in the ballet Carmen, also submitted a review with a different perspective -- an insider's review sprinkled with behind-the-scenes insights of the ballet so that audiences could better appreciate the "blood, sweat and tears" that were poured into making the evening of ballet possible.

*****

During this very hot Chinese New Year, I find myself lazing in front of the TV and my MacBook indulging in my favorite past time activity - running a movie marathon of all my favorites downloaded days on end since subscribing to a movie download service.

Ratatouille ranks among the top five on my list of favorite cartoons and animated films along with Howl's Moving Castle, Avatar, The Spiderwick Chronicles, and Kung Fu Panda.

I think these were all well-made and anyone watching them would find themselves immersed in a different world, even if only for a little while, to be allowed to consider and explore the new and unexpected.

More than that, they appeal to the human compassion that I hope resides in each one of us - defending the less fortunate in society and having the courage to embrace those who are different but in many ways, geniuses in their own rights.

Or perhaps, those who have been chosen for such a time as this ... as Mr Edward Magorium (played by actor Dustin Hoffman) said in Mr Magorium's Wonder Emporium movie, "Your life is an occasion. Rise to it!"

*****

As I was saying about Ratatouille, THE food critic Anton Ego's words struck a nerve ...

In many ways, the work of a critic is easy. We risk very little, yet enjoy a position over those who offer up their work and their selves to our judgment. We thrive on negative criticism, which is fun to write and to read.

But the bitter truth that we critics must face is that, in the grand scheme of things ... the average piece of junk is probably more meaningful than our criticism designating it so. But there are times when a critic truly risks something ... and that is in the discovery and defense of the new. 

The world is often unkind to new talent, new creations. The new needs friends. 

Last night, I experienced something new, an extraordinary meal from a singularly unexpected source. To say that both the meal and its maker have challenged my preconceptions about fine cooking, is a gross understatement -- they have rocked me to my core.

In the past, I have made no secret of my disdain for Chef Gusteau's famous motto: "Everyone can cook". But I realize only now do I truly understand what he meant. Not everyone can become a great artist, but a great artist can come from anywhere.

It is difficult to imagine more humble origins that those of the genius now cooking at Gusteau's, who is, in this critic's opinion, nothing less than the finest Chef in France. 

I will be returning to Gusteau's soon, hungry for more.

*****

For me, it was neither fun nor easy to critique a ballet produced by those whom I used to dance with and the few whom I respect as among the best ballet instructors in our nation. 

As Asia Dance Channel editor advised, while we are not in the business of destroying other's careers, we are obligated to tell the truth, as we see it.

What I have come to recognize are these two truths from Ego's words: 

... the average piece of junk is probably more meaningful than our criticism designating it so ...

... Not everyone can become a great artist, but a great artist can come from anywhere ...

So, don't take a critic's words too seriously but rise up to the occasion when the time comes around again.

As a lover of dance, I continue to hope that I will one day discover and defend the new - that which is worth risking one's life/career for ...  and witness that a great artist can indeed come from anywhere ... even from a place as unexpected as Malaysia!

It's been so long ... where do I begin

Started rock climbing again yesterday and almost couldn't wake up from bed this morning ... pure pain, stiff joints, and just plain tired.

Tonight, I picked up tennis again after 20 years of pursuing other sports. My arm feels like it's going to drop off, and my muscles are numb from exhaustion. I wonder what state I would be in tomorrow ...